


Good Angel

by astudyinfic



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24147415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic/pseuds/astudyinfic
Summary: It was a game they played, and Crowley waswinning.Or was he?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 83





	Good Angel

Crowley would be the first to admit that he wasn’t the best judge of character. Or rather, that he was, but it tended to skew towards the worst parts of people’s personalities. Someone might be kind but Crowley would see the vanity beneath it all. Another might be friendly, but know the secret pride they kept in their hearts.

Aziraphale could sense love but Crowley could sense sin. In the smallest and largest of ways. And, for better or for worse, sin was a lot easier to come by these days than love.

It became a fun game for them. That was how Crowley saw it, anyway. Mostly because he was winning.

“That young woman there is desperately, passionately in love,” Aziraphale pointed out, smiling at the woman walking her dog along the park path.

Crowley looked at her for a moment and nodded. “With a married man who is cheating on both her and his wife with a third woman.”

Aziraphale sighed, turning his attention to a man feeding the ducks. “He’s thought so carefully about what to feed them because he loves to feed them and hopes they all live long and happy lives.”

“While his brother lays at home dying, ignored by this man in favor of some fowl.”

When Aziraphale fell quiet after that, Crowley patted himself on the back for a job badly done. It was just a game, so he knew the angel wasn’t upset with him, so why not have a little fun with it?

But Aziraphale was quiet the whole drive back to the bookshop and he climbed out with only a softly murmured thanks. No invitation inside, no warm smile, no ‘tickety boo’. Just a thanks and a nod and then he was gone.

Crowley stared at the empty space, wondering what had happened and how things had taken such a terrible turn when they’d been having a lovely day as far as he was concerned. After waiting a few more minutes to make sure this wasn’t some prank the angel was playing on him, Crowley sighed and pulled back out into traffic, his mind still on Aziraphale and not the traffic around him. Only the Bentley’s knowledge that it would be in trouble were it to hit anyone saved the pedestrians of London from certain doom.

He was almost to Mayfair when Crowley spun the car around and returned to the bookshop. Ever since the apoca-nope, they’d been more open with each other. The almost end of the world opened up a new phase of their friendship, one that Crowley was enjoying immensely. The only thing that would be better was to cross that last hurdle towards the relationship he really wanted but Crowley continued to hold back for fear of going too fast.

The lights were off in the bookshop when Crowley parked his car and jumped out, but that was nothing new. Aziraphale hardly needed the lights and if they were on, they’d only attract customers, even this late at night. Crowley walked right in, however, knowing that while the door was locked for most people, it never was for him. “Angel?” he called out, ignoring the last time he’d marched in here while unsure of what he would find. At least there were no flames, this time. That memory would probably haunt his nightmares again tonight.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale’s voice sounded so small and broken that Crowley felt his vessel break out in a cold sweat. “I thought you’d gone home, my dear.”

In the backroom, Aziraphale sat on the worn sofa, a cup of cocoa in his hand though it didn’t look like he’d taken a drink of it at all. Crowley ignored the implied question and knelt down in front of Aziraphale, trying to gauge what the problem was. “I thought we were having a good time. What happened tonight?” Even after knowing Aziraphale since the literal beginning of time, Crowley still struggled to understand the angel’s moods from time to time. And since Aziraphale was rarely forthcoming with what he was feeling, Crowley had to prod and poke until he opened up.

“You were having a good time.” The words were said without malice and yet, they cut Crowley like a knife. “You were having a good time and I didn’t want to ruin it.”

Aziraphale might be a hedonist and a glutton, but he was also the best person Crowley ever met, and he was one who would sacrifice his own happiness to make sure those around him were feeling joy. But when they were together, Crowley didn’t want to take his happiness if it cost Aziraphale his.

“It’s ruined knowing you weren’t having fun. What did I do wrong?” Because it had to be him.

“Oh, my dear, it isn’t you. It’s me. I’m a terrible angel.” Aziraphale sighed, obviously choosing his words carefully. “As you were pointing out, there is so much sin and unhappiness in the world. If I was better at my job, they would be happier. Gabriel was right about me.”

Crowley couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Someday, Crowley would tell Gabriel exactly what he thought of him and he would find great joy in doing so. Instead, he took Aziraphale’s hands in his own, running his thumbs along his friend’s knuckles. “Angel, What are you saying? You’re the best of them all.”

The angel scoffed and Crowley wanted to tear Heaven down brick by brick for making his wonderful being question just how good he was. “If Gabriel and the other archangels were examples of what good angels should be, then yes, you are awful.” Hurt bloomed in Aziraphale’s eyes and Crowley hurried to soothe it. “But, they aren’t good angels. They haven’t been for so long. They care more about their war and being righteous - being _right_ \- then being kind. They’ve forgotten what angels were supposed to be. What She made you all to be.”

Aziraphale smiled sadly. “She made you too, my dear.”

The longing Crowley felt in his heart ever since the day he was cast out pinged again, harder to ignore when it was just him and Aziraphale. The angel made him remember what was good about heaven, something that was too easy to forget with all the other self-righteous angels trying to end the world. But She’d cast him out and Crowley had held tight to his hurt for thousands of years and wasn’t about to give it up now. “I’m not good, Angel. Never have been. Not like you.” He didn’t want to talk about this. He wanted to sweep this part of the conversation under a rug, set it on fire, and watch it burn. This wasn’t what Crowley wanted to talk about. “If I was good like you think I’m capable of, then I wouldn’t have hurt you tonight.”

Aziraphale patted him awkwardly on the shoulder. “You didn’t mean to, my dear.”

Growling under his breath, Crowley closed his eyes and took a breath. Aziraphale was too understanding, too forgiving. He really would let himself suffer if he thought it would make Crowley happy. But Crowley knew that already, didn’t he? Aziraphale had pushed him away as the end of the world neared, hoping that if they kept their distance, Crowley would not be punished. It wasn’t until after that the angel realized that being away from him was Crowley’s real punishment. “I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, even if it was unintentional. That’s my point. You will sacrifice everything for the people you care about and you shouldn’t have to. Those that love you shouldn’t even have to think about whether or not it is good for you. We should just know.”

He didn’t know what he’d said but something sparked in Aziraphale’s eyes and Crowley replayed the last few words in his head. Oh, Heaven, he’d really done it this time. The “L” word was strictly off-limits as far as he was concerned. And he said it TWICE. Once could be written off as a mistake. Twice was a pattern and probably and admission of truth.

The angel didn’t look angry or disgusted or hurt, though, so Crowley thought maybe he would just let this all go and they could pretend he never said anything. 

“I love you too, Crowley dear.”

Or he could say the words that Crowley had wanted to hear since they stood on top of a wall four thousand years ago.

"You mean in that heavenly, you love all of god's creation kind of way, right?" Because he couldn't mean it the same way Crowley meant it. He couldn't mean that his heart and soul and everything he was belonged to the being in front of him. 

"Well, in that way too, yes. But I was thinking more in a "you saved my books during the Blitz and I've wanted to kiss you ever since" kind of way. If you only meant it as a general statement, though, you can just ignore..."

Crowley couldn't let that adorable babbling continue, not when he knew that Aziraphale wanted the same thing he did. Crowley pressed his lips to the angel's, an artless move that had no finesse, only joy, and passion, and sheer enthusiasm. It wasn't the best kiss in the history of the world. It wouldn't even rank in the top million. 

But as far as Crowley was concerned, it was perfect. 

And when Aziraphale ran his hand through Crowley's hair and pulled his demon closer, Crowley thought Aziraphale might think so too. 

Besides, they had plenty of time to practice. It wasn't the end of the world, after all. 

Not anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks [janto321](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaceofMer/pseuds/janto321) for the read through.


End file.
